Is it a “Don’t Want”?

Most of us spend most of our time in a constant state of focusing on what we don’t want. And then we wonder why our lives aren’t more happy and positive. 

We spend our days in “Don’t Want” land:  

I don’t want to get up.

I don’t want to be late. 

I don’t want to be alone.

I don’t want to be overweight.

I don’t want ,I don’t want, I don’t want. 

What we talk about and think about becomes the focus of our lives. And if we focus on what we don’t want, that becomes our future. 

Also you don’t have to use the words “don’t want” to get the same negative effects- there are other powerful variations of don’t want such as: “if only” or “I wish”. 

If only I had started sooner (a don’t want in the past) 

I wish I had a different job (a don’t want in the present) 

And even more tricky are the negative wants that masquerade as dont wants. 

I want to be out of debt  (your focus is on your debt-which is a don’t want) 

It’s all about where we put our focus.  Don’t wants, if onlys, I wish and I want all have the common theme of focusing on what we don’t want.

The good news is “Don’t Wants” can actually help shift our focus. 

Don’t Wants help us clarify what we do want. And once we know what we do want, we can shift our focus there. 

So instead of I don’t want to be overweight- try I take good care of my body and nourish it with good food and exercise. 

Instead of If only I had started sooner- try: I am proud of myself for starting now with all the experience that led me to this place. 

Instead of I wish I had a different job- try: I am grateful for my current job and I welcome new opportunities. 

Instead of I want to be out of debt- try: I am responsible and making good financial decisions.

Just keep questioning your focus. Practice awareness. be kind and patient with yourself. 

Could you work on moving  out of “Don’t Want” land more and more each day?