Have you ever wondered how two people can go through the same tragedy, setback or obstacle and have vastly different experiences of the event?

An event happens and some people bounce back quickly while others fall into deep despair? 

Positive Psychology attributes these different outcomes to what is known as our “Explanatory Style” and it can can be either negative or positive. 

This theory states that it is not what happens to us, it is the meaning we attach to our experiences that actually causes us to suffer. 

Your Explanations determine your Experience. 

So if you want to know if you have a negative or positive explanatory style just remember the 3 Ps:  Permanent, Pervasive and Personal. 

If you explain a challenging or “bad” event in your life Permanent, Pervasive and Personal, then according to the research, you may have a negative Explanatory Style. 

For example: Lets take a “bad” event such as a job loss. 

If you lose your job do you perceive it as Permanent and never changing? 

As in: “I lost my job and now I will never find a new one- my whole career is over.” 

Do you explain the job loss as Pervasive and universal?

“I lost my job, the economy is crumbling and the whole job market is collapsing around me.”

Do you blame yourself and take the loss Personally? 

“I lost my job because I didn’t work hard enough, I’m not smart enough or they didn’t like me.” 

Someone with a positive Explanatory Style would view the same event with an opposite explanation:

“I will get a new job very soon.” (not Permanent)

“There are lots of other opportunities for me.”(not Pervasive) 

“The company isn’t doing well & they had to make cuts.” (not Personal)  

A positive Explanatory style is not a denial of reality. The event happens and how you explain it makes all the difference in your well being and future success. 

And here’s the good news- your Explanatory Style is not fixed. You have the power to change it. 

In the words of Positive Psychologist Dr. Martin Seligman : “You can’t control your experiences, but you can control your explanations.”

You words matter. How you talk to yourself matters. 

Pay attention to your Explanations and watch your life begin to change.